Photography Is Hard!

I'm two months in to my D90 ownership, and I'm totally in love with this camera. What I'm not as excited about, however, are my pictures. I have zero creative vision. I can look at other pictures and go "ohh, that's a nice one", but there are very few of my own that elicit such praise. From me other others (in fact noone else has said that about any of my pictures, but then again only very few of them are online). I suppose I could whore around for comments and faves on flickr, but I'd rather have pictures that I'm really happy with myself, first. Then (if ever) get the recognition of others.

I think one of the reasons for my lack of creativity is this terrible city that I live in. Brussels has got to be the grayest, most boring, least interesting place on earth to live in. Shit, a hole in the ground probably has more things to look at. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life... ...I just wish I was living it elsewhere... =/

Anyway, drop by (flickr) and leave a comment, if you feel one is warranted. Or if you just want to cheer me up ;)

I'm Ready

I'm ready for my life to go on.
I'm ready for the life I'm living now to be complete so that I can move on to the next phase of my life (whatever that turns out to be). Right now it only feels like I'm going through the motions. There's no real joy in what I do (even though it is fun), and I feel like it's all just a means to an end. It's a very annoying state to be in. Motivation is low, and the sense of accomplishment when something actually happens is met with, at most, a "meh"...
I don't know what life holds for me on the other side of my M.Sc. degree, but I feel like I need to get there. I've been in school since 2001, and it's about fucking time I got out. I need to start living the real life, making money, having freedoms, rather than just waiting to be judged by people who can choose to hold up my life at their whim.
There's no doubt in my mind that I'll make my deadline (more or less, anyway), and that I will actually get out, but it feels like if that day could come sooner rather than later, I would be a happy Markus.
Here in Holland, more than anywhere else, I get the feeling that one day is just exactly like the other. Nothing ever changes. The hamster wheel is ever present, and nothing I do or say will make the view from inside the mental cage that is my reality change. Having been on the other fence, having had a job and things to do, I know that all life isn't like this. I know that it is actually possible for it to be different. In fact it is possible for it to be very different, but "different" isn't a word that is very common here in the Netherlands. I think people here are afraid to stand out. They think that if they do, they will be rejected by society, and their life will turn to utter shit. In a way, I think they are right. When you live in a society where you are afraid that people will judge you for a certain thing, then you are bound to judge people for that very same thing yourself. As a result, there is very little spice and color in everyday life in my current world, and I think it is dragging me down with it. It makes me sad, but most of all it makes me apathetic.

Apathy

Christmas is almost here. I only have 2 more classes to go before I can have two lovely weeks off. I don't really have any school work left to do: I don't have anything I need to take care of outside school.
And yet, I can't bring myself to do any of the things I like.
I've promised myself to not play WoW (might have to break that promise sometime in the future).
I don't write any code (can't bring myself to start. Whenever I open the IDE, I just get tired)
I don't play any other games (other than a stint of bejewelled, but that gets boring after a while)
I don't watch any movies (I can't be bothered)

I don't do anything, and it's driving me insane. I just hope that when Friday comes, I'll be content enough with whatever it is that I can allow myself to relax and do some things I like. As it is now, I just want the days to pass. It's not like I want them to pass so that something on the horizon can happen, I just want them to pass, period.
I guess summer would be the biggest thing on the horizon, but I can't very well coast apathetically along all year just because summer isn't here (this IS what I do all winter, but lets pretend that I don't).

I'm bored, but I don't do anything about it. I watched some Family Guy and American Dad, which brightened my day, but it's one new episode of each per week, that's not nearly enough to keep me satisfied.
I don't have anything to look forward to, maybe that's it. No goal, other than being out of school for two weeks.

Shit, I've got go get out of this rut. Any suggestions on what to do would be most appreciated