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filling the void

Monday, March 20, 2006

I'd Love To Win

I'd really like to win sometime.
Not that life is a competition, but I'd love to, for once, actually get something that someone else failed to get.
Liek getting a girl when my ex fails to get a new boyfriend, or winning the lottery, or getting a job, or passing an exam, or any of the small things that make up life.
It's an endless goddamn struggle, and I'm not winning very many battles.
In short, I'd love for someone to envy me for something I have, or something I have achieved.

I'm not looking for stardom or world wide acclaim, I just wish that for once, I'd be better at something than someone, competing in a "fair fight", so to speak.
I know I do better than alot of people in alot of things, but that's because those things aren't things that those people even care about.

I hate to sound like a sap, and I'm not sitting here crying my eyes out while I'm writing this or anything, it's just that I'd love for some luck to come my way. I really want life to go my way, not just throw shit my way each time I want something.
Search and ye shall NOT find, I suppose, good things come when you least expect them to, but you can't go around life with no goals, expecting nothing, and counting on good things happening to you.

I somehow feel like a second rate citizen, if there is such a thing. Always envying what others have. I'm not dissatisfied with my achievements, well, not all of them anyway, but I know that there are other people out there doing much better in the same discipline than me.

I'm just going to hope this english test I'm taking for my school application works out the way I plan, and that I'm accepted to the school, because if I'm not, I really don't have anything else planned...


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