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filling the void

Friday, September 15, 2006


I felt SO stupid today.
I hate feeling stupid. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Even more so if you're the only stupid person in the room.
I was at a lecture, and my teacher was going on, in a fast pace, about stuff that I feel I should understand, but didn't have a clue about. Everybody else seemed to have no problem with it, which was that much more upsetting.
I know one thing, the so-called education that I got from Uppsala University in NO way prepared me for these masters courses! =(

I'm 27 years old, and of normal intelligence. It's not like I was at a symposium for theoretical physics, I was in a classroom taking part of a course that I'm supposedly qualified for.
I have so much catching up to do. It's going to be painful, for real.

Hopefully, I can catch up. I'm going to have to. I cannot suffer the pain and humiliation of not passing my courses.
The fact that I miserably failed the small test today also brought about more feelings of inadequateness. It was a question about the last lecture, and I had no clue how to answer.
I feel like such a failure.

/me needs a hug...


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