.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

filling the void

Sunday, August 05, 2007


I haven't been updating in a while, because I've been on a lovely vacation to the swiss and austrian alps. I'll do a writeup about it later, and tell you all where it is.
Today, however, I am home in my native Stockholm. I arrived here yesterday, and I plan to stay roughly a week to visit friends and family and do some other stuff.
This is the first time I've actually been to town since I left Sweden last year, and I can say with certainty that I do not want to come back. Even on a perfect day like this, I feel less and less connected to Sweden. I feel that each time I cross the Swedish borders, I belong less and less.

I had the opportunity to meet my brother's lovely girlfriend again today. We've known each other for some time, but I hadn't seen here for a year or two.
We were sitting on the roof of my brother's appartment building (in the middle of town, very nice), just having some drinks and talking, and we got to talking about old times.
She told me about some time on a school trip, where the girls in her class had been positively enamored with me. There had apparently been tissling and tassling behind the scenes about me.
At some point there had even been a game of strip poker (which I do not remember), and my shirt had come off at some point (something I could totally see happening), and I had apparently caused quite a stir.
Now, I'm an easily flattered boy, but I absolutely love hearing about these things. I mean I know it was 10 years ago, but it is such a boost for my confidence. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I feel great.
Even though it is lovely to hear now, I would have liked even more to have heard it at the time.
I remember my mom telling me that she had run in to an old classmate of mine at the supermarket, who had conveyed similar sentiments, and the same thought came to my mind that time too; what if I had been told this at the time.
When boys are you, we are told that girls aren't interested, and boys are supposed to chase, and if we are lucky, a girl might give us a smidge of attention.
This is wrong.
Something I wish they would tell all boys at a young age is that girls are exactly like boys. They want attractive people just as much as boys, and they seem just as willing to give everything up to get what they want. If life has taught me anything about women is that they only difference between the genders is just that, gender. Other than this physiological difference, women and men are quite the same, and anyone who tells you any different either hasn't explored life properly, or is lying to your face.

Another quite dissapointing thing happened today, though. It didn't quite offset the wonderful confidence high I got from the comment about the school trip, but I had expected it to play out very differently. I sent my ex, who is a very dear friend of mine, a message saying that I was in town, and would she want to grab a cup of coffee or something some time. Now, my ex is very down to earth, and I expected this to be absolutely no problem at all, but I got the response that meeting me might not sit well with her boyfriend, and thus (and in all perpituity it seems), we could and should not meet.
I was very saddened by this, because I really like her as a friend, and I was hoping that something like a boyfriend wouldn't get in the way of us meeting up. I mean, I'm not letting my girlfriend get in the way (not that she would, she's wonderful), and I certainly wasn't planning anything clandestine.

Apparently the blogger spell check isn't working today, so you'll have to make do with whatever mistakes I made.
I will update as this week progresses. Hopefully I'll get more wonderful information and less rejections.

Labels: , , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home