Chainsaw of Natural Selection

Why can't anyone give me one of these: http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/j/e/jem443/ForFun/DarwinComic.gif

I mean I'm surrounded by stupid people all day. This would be the perfect tool to bring about the new world order. MY world order!

I shall amass an army of Darwins ("I shall create a grand army of the republic!") to reach into each and every hiding place and root out and destroy all the remaining stupidity in the world. Of course, it'd probably be easier to just collect the smart ones, and put them on an island somewhere while we nuke the rest of the world.