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filling the void

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Am I A Bad Person?

A woman just came to my door and asked for money.
Something about rheumatism I think, I didn't speak dutch, and she didn't appear to speak English.
She pointed to the green box with the sticker on it, and it said reuma-something-or-other.

I instinctively said "I'm sorry, I can't help you", yet realizing mere seconds later that "why the hell did I say that? I actually had some change on me, I could have helped a worthy cause".
It's not the first time either. I mean, I am in a position to be able to help, but why don't I?
I want to help, it's just like something animal in me takes over when complete strangers ask me for money.
The woman was shy, meek and soft spoken, the typical person you'd send to someones door to elicit sympathy to get them to give money. I felt the feeling, yet still said no.

Does this make me a bad person? It's like I didn't even think about whether or not to actually give her money for whatever her cause was, I just instinctively said "no".

Now I feel bad. At first I felt like running after her, waving some money, but that would have been silly. I hope I haven't doomed my soul to burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity because of this.
Does not believing in god automatically tell you that there is no hell? I guess I technically sold my soul for a crayon for a while back, but since that wasn't a "fair" trade-in, I don't think it counts. Or maybe I sold it to someone unequipped to properly store and carry souls, so my soul was not in fact taken from me.

Whatever, I still don't think I'm a bad person. Please agree with me...*plead*

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  • You´re NOT a bad person. You rock. Markus min lilla fluffboll, ska du dra ned till Rom i somamr och hälsa på mig eller ska jag komma idn väg? SAKNAR dig!!!! Pussssssssssssss

    By Anonymous Mitra, at Wednesday, March 14, 2007 at 7:12:00 AM GMT+1  

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