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filling the void

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Another useless day

All I've done today, more or less, is look at ads for MX-5s and read forum posts and whatnot.
Just about every other half hour I change my decision from buy to don't buy.
It's frustrating. At the time of writing, I'm leaning towards don't buy, but that can all change on the train ride home, and it probably will.

The thing that makes me lean towards don't buy the most is the fact that a) I don't need this car, and b) I know what this goddamn country looks like in the horrible horrible wintertime.
Also, money is an issue. The cars I want are alot more expensive than I had in mind.
But I want it soooo badly.

I wish I could just buy the car, drive it for 2 months and then sell it at no loss, but we all know that's not going to happen. Knowing my luck, I'd buy something for 12k euro and only get 9k back two months later...

I believe that I have a fairly keen business sense, but what I don't have, in any capacity what so ever, is luck.
None what so ever. The last time I had any luck was landing this job, but the time before that I can scarcely remember.
I want this car. I really do. But I also know that there's a reason that I still have some kind of money, and that's because I try not to make insane purchases too often.
This, no matter how much money I spend on it, would be considered an insane purchase.
Much like when I went to Hong Kong and bought a laptop just because they were fairly cheap. In the end, I sold it after like 2 months back home. At a loss...

Now I'm just filling the time here at work until I can go home. Most everybody else has already left. But they manage to be here at the ungodly hour of 6.30 every morning. Shit, I mean, even if I left at the exact time I get out of bed (0600) I couldn't be here at 6.30.
And I like to eat breakfast and maybe take a shower every now and then.
But that's life on an hourly wage with nothing to do I suppose.

The more I look at ads for the car, the less I want to buy it. It's like some kind of desensitization or something. Maybe I should just not look at ads cold turkey for a couple of hours and get remotivated. Or maybe I just need to look at them at my good, bright and properly colordisplaying 22 inch monitor at home to relight the spark. This is some old ass SUN monitor, not very bright, but to room is.

It's extra funny when people come in to the lab, and I'm blasting some happy hardcore, and the people walk in with ties and look strangely at me, as if to ask if I'm actually employed, or just someone who followed dad to work one day and was let loose in the lab.
Also, I think people have a hard time taking me seriously, because I look like I'm 19 years old. I suppose having good skin and caring for it will do that to a person.
Not that I want to look older, I just want to be respected.
The people who have seen me work know that I have skills, but the people that just meet me for the first time probably take me for some no-talent assclown rookie. That, of course, is not the case.

I think I've just about served my time here.

--Markus out

3 Comments:

  • Sorry about typing in swedish.

    Markus- har du nån tuff slogan i stil med filling the void som jag kan ha på min blogg?

    By Anonymous Malin, at Wednesday, July 6, 2005 at 5:59:00 PM GMT+2  

  • Njae.
    Eller, inte såhär på rakt arm.
    att välja headline eller byline är ju lite som att välja nickname.
    på svenska eller engelska?
    utan åäö, helt antagligen.
    typ "the winter of my discontent" (eller annan valfri årstid)
    "social commentary"
    "rant and rave" (tagen av wired och många andra iofs)
    "sammhällets otillräckliga skolning" (utbildning?)
    "have I told you lately that I'm surrounded by idiots" =)
    "spongeform"
    "malcontent trapdoor" (från FG. "usually my malcontents are skinnier. Could you come back in a week when my fat malcontent trapdoor will be finished?")

    jag kan komma på en massa, men om dom ska passa till det du skriver så är det lite svårare.
    känns som vi behöver lite alkohol, papper och penna, och imdb.coms quote database

    By Blogger Markus, at Wednesday, July 6, 2005 at 8:06:00 PM GMT+2  

  • Där gav du mig ett par uppslag i alla fall. Vi får diskutera saken vidare över alkohol någon gång.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thursday, July 7, 2005 at 11:28:00 PM GMT+2  

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