Marriage
I know why people get married.
I figured it out in the shower today.
It's vendor lock in. Think about it. It's another hurdle that you must overcome to switch providers.
Marriage provides everything a normal relationship does, except that it is harder to switch out of. If you're on a normal relationship and you find some reason to leave, you can just break up.
If you are married, however, breaking up becomes a process.
In a relationship, there's generally one person who has more to loose from breaking up than the other. This could be because of many things. For instance, he or she has a harder time getting dates. They might be affraid of being alone. They can't cook. The list can be long.
We will call this person the weaker person. In the pecking order of the real world, this person would be eaten first of the two, if we followed the laws of the animal kingdom.
Because this person has the most to loose, this person will probably be the one who proposes. The roles might change over time, but I believe that the person who wants it to end the least does the most he or she can to get it to last. One convenient thing to make it last longer, that the parents will like too, is to get married.
I think that couples who survive without marriage, without kids, and quite possibly without anything else material holding them together, are the strongest couples. If they don't need ways of tying the other person down into the relationship, they have a pretty good relationship to start with.
If you have different values, I challenge you to prove me wrong!
I figured it out in the shower today.
It's vendor lock in. Think about it. It's another hurdle that you must overcome to switch providers.
Marriage provides everything a normal relationship does, except that it is harder to switch out of. If you're on a normal relationship and you find some reason to leave, you can just break up.
If you are married, however, breaking up becomes a process.
In a relationship, there's generally one person who has more to loose from breaking up than the other. This could be because of many things. For instance, he or she has a harder time getting dates. They might be affraid of being alone. They can't cook. The list can be long.
We will call this person the weaker person. In the pecking order of the real world, this person would be eaten first of the two, if we followed the laws of the animal kingdom.
Because this person has the most to loose, this person will probably be the one who proposes. The roles might change over time, but I believe that the person who wants it to end the least does the most he or she can to get it to last. One convenient thing to make it last longer, that the parents will like too, is to get married.
I think that couples who survive without marriage, without kids, and quite possibly without anything else material holding them together, are the strongest couples. If they don't need ways of tying the other person down into the relationship, they have a pretty good relationship to start with.
If you have different values, I challenge you to prove me wrong!
Labels: life, marriage, relationships
posted by Markus at
12/06/2007 10:00:00 AM
2 Comments:
I think this is by far one of the best explanations provided for this ‘marriage and whatever it leads to’ thing!! And I liked the angle used too: “vendor lock in”.
By
Anonymous, at Thursday, December 6, 2007 at 10:23:00 PM GMT+1
"I think that couples who survive without marriage, without kids, and quite possibly without anything else material holding them together, are the strongest couples".
Technically, yes. If you go to a war without a shield and survive - you probably get stronger then if you had one. But on the other hand, in the case of a really severe attack - you may fall and loose everything, including your trained spirit and body.
But, maybe loosing in this war means a vitory :)
Pasha
By
Anonymous, at Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 12:13:00 PM GMT+1
Post a Comment
<< Home